Sometimes you just have to let the tantrum happen. Just make sure she is safe while it happens!

Unfortunately, obsession comes with the territory, but giving complete control to avoid the negative outcomes is not going to help her later. So kudos for not giving in!

Continue to only giving it to her as a reward or downtime, but if she acts up let her know that if she behaves like this now, she will NOT get it later. Give her tasks to do to "earn" time with it, such as "Clean up your toys and you can have it for 15 minutes." or "After you've played outside for 30 minutes you can use it for 10 minutes." Slowly wean her off of it, but don't give in if she gets bad.

The difference between an autistic persons meltdown and a typical tantrum is mostly in the fact that a tantrum is purely a way to get what you want. If no one is there to hear you scream and yell, you stop as soon as you self-soothe (by crying or just realizing no one is listening). A meltdown tends to have more to do with built up sensory overload. It's like having an empty bucket and every time something happens water is added to that bucket (was it too noisy? too busy? too many people, too much of this and that.. too many sensations physically and mentally) and once the bucket is full, all it takes it one bad thing to upset you and then it tips over and just spills and spills and the meltdown occurs. No one has to hear it, see it or even care about it, the meltdown will happen regardless and it wont end until the bucket is empty.

What I am trying to say is, if she starts throwing a fit because you won't let her have it and stops once you do, this is a tantrum and those can be solved by letting her just have it out and not giving into it. Teach her that she can have it when YOU say she can, and by screaming, she really won't get to use it.

So, send her to her room to safely throw her fit but let her know she will not get to use it by using these methods. If she wants it, she earns it.

And when she's not allowed to use it, keep her actively engaged in something else she enjoys. Sandbox, toys, trampoline, water table, play dough, etc. :) This way she isn't thinking about it while she's learnign to curb her addiction to it.

When Dealing with OCD - her Tantrums are enforcing the OCD - these cycle as you can see- are very challenging - Her accessing any device would take a " Calm Quiet and Friendly approach , meaning she wont get the device until she demonstrates her emotions are in check - this way you are challenging the brain to develop a new response pattern . I like the idea of playing alternative BRAIN GAMES with her on the tablet and using the tablet in educational ways and when she completes tasks with the educational games that are only like ten minutes long - it is only then she gets to have designated " FREE TIME ! and that of course is monitored - this also is stretching her flexibility, will only take a week or so but be consistent , let the tantrums happen . be firm you get nothing but sitting and waiting if you throw a tantrum, and that is a real drag for her , she will catch on the tantrums are manipulating you and she is trying to ware you down :)

Been there done that :)

How old? Depending, on age, I would approach this very differently. With older kids, a token system where a token= 30 minutes of play or something would be good. With younger, your best bet would be to explain that electronics have batteries, and have to rest every so often. You can set the IPAD to turn off after so long playing it, or you could just say a session lasts 30 minutes (or whatever you decide) and set a timer.