I'm not sure what the waiver waitlist is - is that for Early Childhood Intervention in your area? The things we have done with ours (starting at 18 months and now he is five) - private speech therapy
Early Childhood Intervention (a state program in Texas) Early Childhood School (preschool within our school system that is just for kids with special needs, found out about it by contacting the ISD's special needs/gifted department
ABA therapy - first through a private company and then through a special school he went to for a year - 5 days a week, called Mustard Seeds.

Have you had him officially diagnosed? The diagnosing physician should be able to refer you to some resources. Have you joined any parent groups of kids with autism in your area? That's how we found out about the Mustard Seeds school. Your local school district (is your preschool through your school district?) should have recommendations as well, even though he is only three.

We found our private ABA therapist just by doing internet research and calling around. A lot of them had waiting lists or insurance didn't cover. We ended up using paying out of pocket for ABA for a year - just 2 hours a week. When we got him into the school where he got more ABA therapy, it did wonders.

Children's hospitals might have some resources too.

Right now, we are thinking out of the box since therapy is so expensive. We are looking to hire a therapist once a week to work with a group of kids on social stuff since they are now in kindergarten, and we will just split the cost of the therapist.

If you can't find an ABA provider, wou might consider reaching out to a special needs teacher within your school district and see if he or she would be willing to work with your child in the evenings or weekends. BCBA designations are the best ones to find.

Also, if there are any local colleges around you that have a BCBA program or even training special needs teachers, you could contact them and possibly work with a student or a group of students studying there now - if the student can get class credit, you wouldn't even have to pay them. :)

Hope some of that helps - hang in there! Patience and perseverance will lead you to the help you need.

Best,
Lauren

Also look in to floortime (get the PlayProject DVD) and use play therapy. That is something that any parent can do. For speech, aside from speech therapy also look into Hanen books - more than words, takes two to talk or talkability - and to learn some techniques yourself on how to help with speech. These are two things that we did that didn't cost much at all (less than $200).

For ABA therapy...look here and this may help.

http://www.bacb.com/index.php?page=100155

You will have to enter your zip code for results. Looks like there are about 8 "real" ABA specialists within about a 25 mile radius. Hope this helps. And just an FYI, these folks are very busy as I have found out.

I found my wonderful after-school care provider through the YMCA Childcare Referral Service. The one here in San Diego has a list of daycare providers who are experienced with special needs children. I visited 5 places before I found the wonderful care provider we have been with for 4 years now.

Unfortunately you have to wait for everything in the ASD world. You just have to do your best on your own until you start your services.

In regards to daycares it is tough to find one that can handle an ASD child, and even if you find one where they say they can handle your child as soon as a problem arises they tell you to take your child somewhere else.

The problem is that the staff in daycares do not have training and experience in ASD, and if they do it is not much. If the child won't nap or has tantrums they will bail out fast. You can try it and see if it works but I would not have solid plans put on place until you know it will work because you will find yourself scrambling to find something else at any moment.