Here are some things we tried: first, the recess personnel need to be aware that he might need extra help in socializing so that they can step in when it gets "hairy"; second, our child's school SLP would go out for 1 recess a week and work with our child and the SLP used to set up a structured activity and would invite other kids to play along, so our child could get some practise in a social situation, third a dedicated special ed paraprofessional would be on the playground assisting those kids with social deficits (Aspergers, etc) so a trained professional was ready to step in when a problem arose. I think that depending on the para, the last option worked best. As an aside, I hope that your child is getting some help from both the school OT and SLP!
Rose

You need to talk to the school. Call a meeting. Part of the IEP team is you. You have a right to call a meeting, and then y'all can work out a plan.

I am sure that the school can make accommodations during recess. Set up a meeting with the IEP team and discuss it.

He has an IEP meeting coming up at the first of the year. I am just not sure what to ask for. He needs to have a chance to be active, but not in the chaos of recess.

Thanks for the advice. :0)