Such a difficult time! I remember my fears back when John was 5, now in a few days he will be 48! Do we have it all together, absolutely not! Does it get easier, No! This life is about steps; it is about people, ideas and trust in our Creator! Don't panic and Don't fear! First, check out what is in your state and/or county for disability services. Then seek help and ask for help! I know God did not create these children with no plan! We know them well and we will be given strength to move them forward.

Is he still going to school? If so, is school helping him? My sister decided not to keep her son in school even though he could have stayed until 21. She felt they were not teaching him anything of practical value. She and her husband pushed him out of his comfort zone. Finding employment that worked for him was not smooth sailing. He had to fail at a few jobs to find one that he could do well at. He's been holding down this job for several years now. He's doing amazing. Much better than anyone would have predicted. He doesn't drive, but he rides his bike to work.
My son also just turned 18. I have some of the same fears. I thought he would have more skills by now, but I think learning to hold a job is the most important one for him right now. He may be able to go to college down the road if he gains some skills and wants to, but for now, he needs the life skills he can learn from employment. We were very proud of him for getting a job at McDonald's. It didn't last, the environment was too overwhelming for him, but that doesn't mean it was a failure. It was a good first try. He is seeing a therapist who is encouraging him. We also need to iron out medications for anxiety and focus. He is 18 and he is not there yet, but the race is not over.

My son is 19 and before the pandemic he had a full schedule. Every other weekend I would take him to the gym to work out with a trainer. He would shoot hoops every other Sat. He had a job with the school. He would go to the pizzeria and work for 1 hour every week. Try to find a activity that gets him tired it helped my son a great deal with his aggression. All the best to you.

Not enough emphasis on kids with ASD as they age out of schools. The truth is it will be get really rough outside the home and ASD folks have the highest unemployment rate even compared to other disabilities.

"An autism website says 80% of autistic adults are unemployed. Autistics are far more vulnerable to diabetes, anxiety, obesity, depression and a host of other serious medical problems. Most autistic adults never get married, and if they do, it doesn’t last."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life....

http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2018/02/why-...

I hope that my daughter could go the marriage route as I doubt she could get or hold a job especially as she also has ADHD. There are a lot of single guys with ASD who probably aren't a first pick for most women. I'd rather she get married than end up in a group home filled with men.

Also the unemployment rate is high right now a lot of people are in the same people boat. I've been unemployed for two years probably due to being 55, not willing to move (again) and passing on restaurant/factory jobs. Got turned down for a job where I was told to expect to be physically assaulted. I still wanted the job but got no offer. Seen multiple instances where none of the people interviewed were hired so don't take it personally. They just put out the job ad again and again. Most people doing the interviewing have never been unemployed for long so they don't get it.