The most liberating moment for me was when I found out that not only could I walk away, I should walk away. When my son was 2-3 he threw tantrums all the time instead of calmly trying to tell me (or point me to) what he wanted. Once I knew I should ignore, not only did it help my husband and me, but he quickly learned throwing tantrums weren't helpful to him and they decreased significantly.

Some people make a distinction between a tantrum and a meltdown. A tantrum is a behavior that you can reason with, and your kid still has some thought processes going on. A meltdown is when they're so mad at the universe they can't even think. A meltdown (in my thinking) becomes more of a biological event. You have to gut-level comforting like hugs, soothing words or music, or alone time. Whatever works for your kid to calm them. You have to wait for your kids body to flush out the neurotransmitters or other chemicals in their system until they can think again. Luckily for me, my daughter doesn't have real meltdowns that often. A tantrum can be reasoned with.

I find that sometimes when the meltdowns seem to be constant and never ending, and I find myself fixing to go into meltdown mode myself I find it helpful to just go into my bathroom and lock the door and spend a few moments in my silent room and breathe (or maybe cry for a moment) then I can go back out and am ready to face the rest of the melt down.

the ipod is my life saver. I carry it in my pocket with ear buds! Really helps keep me in a good state. I do yoga and meditation and spend free time get grounded within. I avoid TV (for more then 15 minutes a day or so) because it tends to keep my brain stimulated as opposed to calm. During meltdowns I remind myself it's 100x harder for my kiddo then it is ME, that usually is enough to remind me to react with compassion rather then frustration or judgment.

i pray to god and i ask him to please help us. To please shine down his spirit on us. I say the Our Father prayer and i keep on praying until it's over. Then I feel a lot of compassion for him and try to understand what triggered the meltdown.