I'm the biological dad to our 7 year old ASD daughter, a our non ASD son and we're still married. We have disagreements on raising our kids all the time like a lot of parents of non-ASD kids as well. Kids with disabilities add to the friction at times. Our daughter is lazy with learning and she works better with the ABA therapist than with either parent but she works better than her mom and than with me.

Referring to your fiancé as "bratty" and a grown child may be accurate to you but it comes off the wrong way for a man who has been with you for two years and I assume he's been an asset in raising your child. He whines but from his point-of-view do you come off as "nagging" or ungrateful? Everyone has the right to complain with the hope that things will change somewhat but repeating the same stuff over and over again is annoying if the spouse has already heard the message the first time.

I am a speech Langauge Pathologist and just married the love of my life. I have 5 children of my own, all neurotypical. My (now husband) has two children, both diagnosed severe ASD. I've known from the beginning they were on the spectrum but considering what my career is in, it never scared me. However through dating the last year or so, there's been so many ups and downs because it is very hard for Me to just play girlfriend and not Speech therapist when I was over at his house. There were many "you're too hard on them" and "why are you always trying to make them upset" moments. But kevin finally sees that I'm not hard on his chidkren. I see their potential and want them to progress to be as functional as they can be. I know it stresses kevin out when he sees his children struggle, and I know it's hard having two biological children diagnosed with ASD. He gets defensive about his children a lot with me But I tell Kevin everyday that when I married him I knew what challenges were ahead of us but I made a commitment to be there for
Him through it all.
It takes a village to raise any child. I know there will still be ups and downs, but as long as the same positive goal for the child is what everyone wants, then things will work out as they should.

Hello again! I tried to explain to my fiancee that no matter what the situation, when a woman hears her child crying/struggling it creates a physical pain in a mother's chest. It's something no one can relate to unless they've birthed a child. The sounds that are just annoying to some are heartbreaking to others. Once I put it that way, he put forth much more effort to be patient. I have to say things have been much better since our last talk.

He would actually. That's a great idea :) When he and I started dating I was still in therapy for PTSD and depression. He made sure to come along once in a while to help and hear what the therapist had to say. He's a good person, he frustrates me sometimes is all lol

@A MyAutismTeam Member I'm sure I certainly do nag at times. I want to make it known that I have never called him those names. I think them often, lol. I would never say that to him. He has been an asset in many ways and sometimes I need to take a moment to remind myself of that fact when he's irritating me. Thank you for the reminder and the different perspective!

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...