This is something that you have to go with your gut for because as Mommy you will know what is best in the end.... however, if it were my child, and he was everything you're describing here, I'd certainly go the route with having him around neurotypical children in a private or public school setting.

My son has Asperger's, and he still doesn't make eye contact, still doesn't know and understand most facial expression and body language, has quirky things, needs speech but is otherwise above average or average intelligence in all academic areas. While there is a large school nearby for Autistic children, I prefer him to attend the local public school. (They are just fantastic) He does receive all of his therapies in school (speech, occupational, etc) and has a paraprofessional that stays with him all day during the school day. I feel that, like with any child learning to navigate their way through society, being in public is one of the best ways for them to do this. You know; How is a kid going to learn to sit quietly in a restaurant if you never take them to one?? That sort of thing.

And as you would with ANY child, neurotypical or not, don't put expectations on him. Just be there for him and help him as much as possible. Kids struggle growing up in various ways, but you just have to be kind and supportive and encourage them to be their best without making them feel there is too much pressure to be more than they are.

My child started out in Kindergarten with other kids staying as far away from his as possible (much to my broken heart) I kept to the sidelines and let him blossom. He now has FRIENDS, mutual, reciprocated friendship. My child can explain astrophysics and quantum physics like a college professor and has known his periodic table of elements since he was 5, but the gaining friends was a huge milestone that made me proud! Because HE did that himself, by working hard to understand his peers. He has neurotypical friends that accept him for every bit of the person he is. In the adult world that will be vital to his growth.

As an adult with Asperger's I wish I had been diagnosed as a child and was able to receive the help he was given. But I worry that it would have been different given the times and I would have been placed in a school for children with disabilities versus a public school. Even though it was difficult for me, I am grateful for the experience I had in public and private schools growing up. I still am very socially awkward and still have trouble making social connections. I was lucky to find someone I was able to relate to in a way (my husband) that has never judged me. He's neurotypical but very introverted so we get along great and neither of us mind that the other has never wanted to "go out" and hang out with other people. Haha.

It wasn't as early as I would have liked it to be. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 5 1/2.

I was diagnosed with Autism shortly after he was. I felt that he was perfectly normal - and had sleep issues and maybe ADHD He would sleep only 3 hours per night starting around age 2, and was very Hyper. He didn't like most foods, either. But, the majority of his behaviors were identical to my own currently and as a child growing up. So I felt that nothing was out of the ordinary aside from sleeping, eating and his level of hyperactivity. My husband on the other hand kept telling me he thought I was autistic before my son was ever born, after he was about 7 months old, he began telling me he thought our son was Autistic too.

I grew up in a lot of pain, I was diagnosed as having Social Anxiety Disorder, OCD, ICD, Bipolar disorder, and behavioral issues (was heavily medicate most of my childhood). I had an IEP in school, but was a straight A student. Never had friends, was very asocial (still am). I didn't understand people, tried so hard to be like others because I was always picked on by other children for being "weird". But when my husband said these things, I always felt he was making fun of me, would get upset and ignore him. I worked with autistic children in high school - and they were severely autistic - one was a Date savant, but he couldn't function was nothing like me. That was my only experience with Autism at the time. So that wasn't ME. He was making fun of me. That's how I felt.

Doctors refused to listen to me about my son. I had one doctor tell me he was the most hyper child he'd ever seen but it was related to him not sleeping, prescribed him sleeping pills. He said if all he's willing to eat are these foods, just feed that to him, but he's not unhealthy just a very picky eater - and sent me on my way, MULTIPLE times. I was using Tricare and only allowed to see base doctors for him, not pediatricians, or specialists unless the doctor felt he needed one, and he didn't think he did. During preschool, they noted many things about my son (that he still parallel played when other children interacted) but said nothing more. When he entered Kindergarten, the teacher was the one that said, look... there is a problem, he's different.... and had me take home these questionnaires. And that is how it started. At that point I switched to a different insurance plan that let me seek doctors outside of the Military hospital and it took SEVERAL before they were willing to listen.

I WISH I was given the same opportunities my son was. But wasn't. And at this point in my life, I am content with who I am, so feel no need to begin therapies. But, I feel if I was given the same chance, life wouldn't have been so difficult growing up at least. I take anti-anxiety meds, because social interactions are still too much. But, I'm okay with me. Although, I do offend people when I don't mean to! I am very blunt and cold seeming, even when I mean well.

@A MyAutismTeam Member I am sorry you had that experience. But it sounded like it was an issue with the school. Unfortunately this does happen. The school needs to be on board and a strong desire for all children attending to achieve their best possible goals.

I am quite lucky (my son is quite lucky) that his public school is excellent with children who have Autism and other challenges. Because he is quite intelligent, they focus mostly on his social success versus his academic success. I believe this is a major reason why he has blossomed socially and his behavior has been drastically improved from when he first started school. Of course being a June baby did mean that he was younger than most of his peers. But this did not cause a huge issue (aside from him being jealous other students were older than he was).

What was most impressive was that they used my child to teach his peers to be accepting of children that were different, while teaching him how to handle social interactions that he desperately needed. They would set up in-school 1 on 1 play dates with peers both his age as well as some that were older (and had similar interests as he did). If he gets into a conflict with another student, they pull both students aside into the OT room or counselors room so that they can properly manage their differences and conflict under adult supervision. They use this opportunity to educate him on social ques, and learn to come to a mutual and beneficial agreement as well as how to resolve conflicts without resorting to, perceived, negative behavior (such as name calling, hitting, Meltdowns and tantrums). Both at school and home, his instances of actual meltdowns has gone down dramatically (from one nearly every single day, to once or twice a month - if that sometimes). The teachers and ALL staff know and recognize him by name. He's a wanderer, and has a paraprofessional with him all day long. Who happens to be AMAZING with him!! They get to know him and his subtle unspoken hints that he's becoming overwhelmed and prompt him to either go to the OT room (for the swing, trampoline and exercise bike) or out into the hall to do random exercises... or they divert his attention with other activities. For his first two years they used special chairs to keep him grounded as well as a weighted vest and weighted lap blanket. He gets multiple sensory breaks through-out the day.

This is why it's very important to ask the school and IEP team what exactly they intend to do to help our children be successful both social and academically. And you have every right to express what you want and expect for your child, as well.

We did do some dietary interventions and it made a big difference. Stopped eating processed food full of msg (it's in everything!!!) and he came out of a fog. I always think he does better when we follow this protocol but can't get my spouse onboard, alas...