I guess I sometimes forget that all schools are not created equally. It really saddens me that your son isn't being given the same opportunity mine is simply based on your location. Even sadder to know the great difference when you live only an hour away from me. I know there will never be a one size fits all solution and I honestly cannot stand how much schools have changed since I was in school myself... but there has to be a better way to ensure our children are getting an acceptable education without the types of worries people like yourself are facing.

If you ever have the opportunity to move to a place of your choosing before he exits elementary school, I suggest my school district (Oyster River Co-op). Hands down they are amazing! The Junior High and High School here are FANTASTIC, but according to my son's neurologist, they might not be the right place for someone like him. However, anyone living in the state of New Hampshire has access to VLACS, a virtual charter school, tuition free, for Middle School on up and you're provided with a legitimate diploma, the schools in my district use VLACS for their Summer program when a child needs to make up credits so it's all transferable too (I know this is distant thinking)... So that is always an option here as my son gets older.

This is obviously my opinion but based on what you have posted my feeling is it may benefit him a lot to repeat kindergarten. Some responses sounded like the were talking about your son "starting" kindergarten a year late so I am not sure if what I have to say applies.

If your son does not do well and he has to repeat a grade later, it will be more noticeable to the other kids and your son. The kids coming into kindergarten don't know who was there last year and it does buy some time to hopefully get some things sorted out that the school has botched. I feel like most of the school systems are good at that. I don't know if your state has charter schools or not but for me and some of the other local parents here, they did a much better job.

I know my response is late but I wanted to respond anyway. Even if you decided to move him on to first grade and it doesn't work out, I don't think even at that age it does any psychological or social damage. The trouble with this job is that hind sight is 20/20 but foresight for our children is about 500/500. Good luck. It sounds like you already knew what you thought was best anyway. (Smile)

glad this worked well for you. I'm not keen on DAN dr's personally

Thank you for your detailed response. As we are in the Lexington school system and the teaching has been absolutely deplorable on all levels - staying back is the only option for him to catch up on all levels. We came from out of state from a very warm and fuzzy school environment in which he thrived - so much so that they thought he would therapy out by the age of 7. Icame to NE thinking that the schools would be even better - it has been a nightmare of bureaucracy and him been taken out of one classroom and thrown in to the next every 6 weeks. As a result of this mayhem, uncoordinate and unprepared teachers, being essentially lied to about the classroom size and curriculum (there isn't any..) my son has significantly regressed in language, social, behaviors, etc.

The OWE me a school year following this mayhem. One of the key reasons for not staying back is that the children will opt out at 22 years old and you could potentially lose services. That is truly the only reason they let children slide along year after year - whether they are ready or not... as for support -in our school system - there isn't any... just fluff for rich parents to self-congratulate themselves.

glad you are in a better situation.

You said your son is mildly autistic. And art classes are great for any child, there are wonderful art programs even for children with severe mental handicaps. And, Asperger's is still classified as autism, but yes my son and I both have Asperger's or "mild autism" or "high functioning with no verbal delays" as they are all classified now as Autism Level 1. He has meltdowns that become so severe he ends up having seizures. He has extreme sensory issues, is entirely unable to understand facial expressions and body language (though the school has been basically training him how to respond to facial expressions and how to tell what a person may be feeling based on how their mouth/eyes and hands look), has a lot of trouble appropriately communicating with other children his age which leaves him with very few reciprocated friendships. He struggles to write, due to very poor fine motor skills and walks with an extreme gait (he walks sideways into walls...). Yet, I have found that educational after school activities are amazing for him educationally as well as learning to cope in social settings outside of his classroom.

One of his MANY pediatricians, before I found one that really cared, wanted me to hold him back in Kindergarten, stating that he's not emotionally mature enough to be around children his age. She actually had me seriously considering it but the school was the one that talked me out of it stating that not only could it hurt him academically but also socially.

I'm not judging at all. And ultimately, as his mother you really know what is best for your child. I'd talk to his doctors, pediatrician, psychologist (or whatever you're using to help you with his autism diagnosis), and educators and get an overall idea of what life might be like if you decide to or decide not to have him held back. I only assumed, based on you saying he had mild autism, that you were more concerned with his emotional maturity (as my son's pediatrician was) and how that might affect his learning. I do know, a young child who will remain with my son basically the entire elementary school career (due to a shared paraprofessional) has difficulties much different than his, as he seems to struggle more greatly academically. And they entirely cater to his needs and levels, even though he's in the same as other 1st graders, his work is a lower level and it really works.

Basically, what I am saying is, my son is very far behind socially and emotionally, and they cater to his needs and the other boy is behind academically and they cater to his needs all in the same classroom as "normal" typical children of the same age range. If your child's prospective school offers a similar set up, it may be worth having him start kindergarten this coming school year. :)

Btw, Happy Birthday.