I'm nowhere near New Jersey, but something my son found helpful -- not just when relocating but every year -- was to have an opportunity to go to the school before school began, when the school was empty, and meet the teacher and have a little tour. They'd show him where his desk would be, get to know him a little, and physically walk him through the day so he knew what to expect as a regular routine, and when the routine would vary. They'd give us a printout of the routine so I could review it with him at home. We'd practice walking from where he was dropped off to his classroom until he could do it without guidance, and where to go from his last class at the end of the day. I'd take him back to the school the day before school started, too, and walk those two routes and any others he needed to know with him again to make sure he was confident about where to go.

Getting a sense of the structure he would be encountering without all the sensory input of a typical open house or the first day of school took a lot of the stress and anxiety out of the first day, and let him actually look forward to it. That's not something the school initiates, but every year I would contact whatever school he was in well in advance and explain what I wanted to do and why, and they were always happy to help.

Best of luck, to both of you!

My daughter has mild Aspergers, so we are getting everything we need from the school district and from our health insurance. She will be able to live independently as an adult, so really don't need anything from the State. My brother-in-law, however has more severe autism. He can hold down a job and take care of his basic needs (bathing, cooking, laundry, household chores), but needs supervision for things like paying bills, filing taxes, etc. Right now he lives with his mother, but that won't last forever. We don't know what will happen to him when she dies.

If you will need the State to provide services beyond what the school can provide, then definitely do some research to see what is available. If you don't need these services, or you can fund them privately or through your own insurance, then I wouldn't worry about it. New Jersey is great place to live.

Ummm let me tell you something about New Jersey. There are no and I mean no good services or facilities or anything for autism. Especially if there's behaviors or mental illness involved. If you want your loved one to die in some group home or state hospital knock yourself out and go to New Jersey. New Jersey is having so much controversy right now it's best to just stay away. I live in New Jersey and it's bad. Hopefully we'll move. But my kid is suffering their services. Took a few lawyers to get her basic ABA. All they say is that's not offered here. Try your school district or insurance. The state is crazy. For adults and children.

Thanks going into my file.

Fairfield, NJ is much closer - about 20-30 minutes drive.