The gap will close, trust me. Communication will improve dramatically with speech therapy. The services schools provide come down to one thing, their bottom line (funding), which varies not only from district to district, but from school to school within districts. Do not rely on the schools to provide the best possible services on their own. I live in Texas where education is chronically underfunded, so it may be different in your state. Hang in there.

Hi there @tigerbearmomma

I can only speak from experience but the school is not the best place to get an assessment - they are needed for educational services but you would benefit more when looking at the whole child to get a full Psych eval from a private clinicl psychologist because he is going to assess everything -- the school is limited very limited - but you can ask for an IEE the school pays for that if they refuse they have to go due process - they will not want to do that --- it's important bc his testing will drive his services and his IEPs - if it does not relate to a educational need - they are not gonna bother.

Did the have a DAT team do a full FIE with an LSSP a Diag and speech path and OT ?

I have been in a constant battle with the school for 3 1/2 years --- they said he was not autistic but I liked at test scores requested records and read all staff emails and they spoke about it with each other that he probably did have autism but wrote in emails but we are going with emotional disturbance - you would not believe what they will do n hide - it does not seem like would do that but trust me --- I have been doing this a long time - have an outside clinician review their teTing - what testing instruments did they use ?

What was the dx and educational qualification and recommendations ?

Your daughter sounds a lot like our son. He will be five in July, but his developmental age is 2-2 1/2. We found it very frustrating as well. For us, he knows all letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc.
It is very overwhelming to see on paper how behind your child is, as compared to his peers, but it is crucial piece of the puzzle. It highlights his/her deficits and provides goals to work towards. When sitting down with the school, bring your home observations and any evals you have done. Remember you are as important a member of the team as anyone else in the room! And if you don't understand something, ask for help.
Being a parent of a ASD or any special need kiddo, is difficult at times, yet more rewarding than anything else. And, development can't be rushed, but making informed and thoughtful choices for our children is a good way to begin.
One last thought, any eval is a "snapshot" of that particular day or time. You are entitled to an independent evaluation paid for by the school, if you feel you want another eval. Another idea may be to contact a non-profit advocate. Advocates, especially for special education, are very skilled in the language and hoops one needs to jump through with kiddos. We have an advocate for our son, and she was there for him. We explained to the school that we needed her to help us make informed decisions. Hope something we shared helps. Best wishes.

My daughter is actually further behind now at 6.5 compared with peers than she was when she was first diagnosed with "global developmental delay" at 24 mos. At that point she was about a year behind but now she's more like 2.5 to 3 years behind. She has made a lot of progress but the gap between her and neurotypical peers is way more noticeable the older she gets.