Sounds like some anxiety too she may be dealing with. She may need some tools to help her to self regulate, you can when she has these swings get her some multi colored braclets. and have her wear them when daily have her tell mom how she feel today with a braclet indicator, Blue is for when she is feeling sad , Red is for watch out. Yellow is happy, orange means she has the hebbie jebbies.= anxiety nervous, my mind is busy today! or be careful with me.. track behavior and feelings with her.. Journal it for weeks. look into patterns in sleep, and diet and constipation, Yes constipation is present in 80% of autistic children and is significant in behavior and mood issues!.visual aids will help too, give her a GO TO spot .When you see thing going out of control,like a Time out spot. You can say to her. "I see you are anxious" so lets talk about this in the GO TO SPOT, I see you are upset at me or your brother . Lets go to the GO TO spot and work it out.. give her a peppermint candy or gum, that has a calming effect and it is pleasant to.. this GO to Spot has sensory tools there. a post it board with her photo on that she makes with you.. On this poster board are positive things about her written by her.Her family, friends and teachers.it is a self- estem booster.. then get a box of sticky notes, when she says the negative statements = write it down on the sticky note, repeat what she said, back to her. and say I heard you say ( you don't like your self >) stick the note to her, and explain that sticky note will make you feel icky, put that sticky note over her photo that is in the middle of her poster board show her the negative feelings are covering her up. that sticker needs to be pealed off an put in the garbage, When she does it Give her a hug, tell her you love her, and give her a sugar free treat. every time. form a pattern ASD children are highly visual and sensitive individuals. they are also motivated too. When she is positive and says positive things put that on a sticky not and put it on her board. REWARD her with a small sugar free candy or a small treat you know she loves. something this will help her mind develop a pattern with the good words = good treats good feelings sensory tools may also help during these times a hard squishy ball or clay to mess with as your talking, silly puddy.or message and warm pads or cold pack sometimes distract while you are talking her down. It is my theory that all this is making her muscles hurt from the anxiety. some of these tool may help her center. and you may consider trying an SSRI for her this will take the edge off the anxiety and depression. It takes time to find the tools kids need with so many different aspects of ASD, Your not alone. lastly look into an SSRI for her Talk to your doctor if you have exhausted all your avenues and you have looked at all other issues of physical needs and the behavior is still a challenge for her she may bennifit from other therapies, it takes time.

Thank you so much for all the suggestions! We will definitely try a lot of those!