Friday night I had the honor of meeting Dr. Temple Grandin – the noted cattle expert, autism authority, and one of the most famous and successful people on the autism spectrum. We were both speaking at the US Autism & Asperger Association Conference in Denver and when we met at the speaker’s dinner I told Temple, “I am the co-founder of MyAutismTeam – a social network for parents of kids with autism.”
“Ohhhh” she said. “Do you know what worries me most about parents of kids with autism these days? They’re not making their children learn enough important job skills!” And with that, she launched into her case, elaborating on what she means. “I’m seeing more and more kids, a lot less severe than I was, graduating college withoutany job skills – and they are ending up living on social security!”
Other speakers started gathering around us to listen as she held forth. She attributes a lot of her own success to what she calls a “50’s Upbringing” from her mother – a parenting style invoking teachable moments, stretching your kids, and inculcating manners, basic social skills and independence early. It’s a parenting style she wishes would make a return today – particularly among parents of kids with autism. I should say that on this particular topic Dr. Grandin is focusing in on kids from the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum and although she refers to herself as an “Aspie” she is quick to point out that she’s come a long way from where she was developmentally as a little girl.
What is a 50’s Upbringing?
Dr. Grandin summarized a “50’s upbringing” as learning the following:
Examples from Her Own Life
Dr. Grandin shared several examples from her own life to try to clarify. I’ve tried to capture those here to share with you (all paraphrased so I won’t put them in quotes.)
Dr. Grandin elaborates with more examples in her own post and her many books, which are well worth the read.
A Challenge to Parents
This was not a light conversation. When Dr. Grandin talks in person she doesn’t mince words and she speaks about this topic with the genuine fire in the belly of someone trying to jumpstart a movement. To be clear, she does not like what she’s seeing. She wants to encourage parents of kids on the spectrum to make sure they stretch and teach their kids more, get them to try new things and learn new skills (even if the kids don’t want to do it at the time, and even though they may fail at it initially). She passionately believes it’s never to late to start.
My meeting with Dr. Grandin left me inspired and is causing me to seriously examine how I’m raising my own two neuro-typical children. I know I could utilize a lot more teachable moments with them than I do currently, and I’m not so sure I stretch my kids and let them safely “fail” enough.
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I believe in chores they give purpose.... all kids need them....my autistic son has chores...it would not be fair ifhe didn't . my older kids thought it unfair that he didn't do anything except make… read more
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