I'm sorry to hear that you're facing challenges with your husband. I've experienced something similar, except the roles were reversed in my situation. My job is quite flexible, allowing me to work from home most days. However, this comes with additional responsibilities, as I also need to care for my neurodivergent son and his younger neurotypical brother. I genuinely enjoy taking care of the boys; I find it gratifying.

Despite that, I struggled to balance my professional obligations with personal responsibilities while also being the primary person handling everything related to the house and finances. It took courage to sit down with my wife and align our expectations and responsibilities for the family and our boys. I expressed feeling overwhelmed, and she explained that she never knew I was struggling because I hadn’t communicated my feelings. That realization made me recognize that I needed to improve my communication and be more open about asking for help when I needed it.

My wife is truly remarkable. She works full-time and has a very demanding job, and she does her part to the best of her ability, just like everyone else in the family.

I strive to be more forgiving and kind to myself and my family, especially my son, who faces many daily challenges.

The idea of being "perfect" needs to be discarded. I am revisiting "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown, which has been incredibly helpful throughout my life.

Hi Catherine 6

I did this as I was married for over 32 years and could not take the mental abuse anymore. I was 60 years and I had tried for years to make a go of the marriage. Then I was working and had a great job with
Social Security. I was ready to be on my own. Yes, it was hard but I'm glad that I was able to get out of the marriage. I'm retired now and involved with a great man.

Harriet

I’m not sure whether you’re looking for advice or just wanting to vent, but this cannot go on. Your husband is emotionally abusing your son.
Your loyalty is clear & that has to be with your child. You’ve stated that he threatens to leave, I would take him up on that offer & change the locks!

@A MyAutismTeam Member a big useless tool? That's absolutely awful :( He needs to realize that not everyone operates on the same timeline and that this is ok! I'm not where my parents were at my age, either, and tbh, I don't desire some of the things that many others do. My parents already had my brother and me, who were in our teens or so, when they were around my age. I can't even begin to imagine myself as a parent, lol! 🙂 I'm single and don't desire a partner or to start a family of my own. I'm happy being a part of the family I already have. I live with my mom and we have a great relationship.

Your son has so many gifts and just because he isn't a carbon copy of his dad at his age doesn't mean he's any less than! I'm sure there are skills he has that his dad doesn't as well. Hugs ❤️

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A MyAutis...

I'm so sorry you have this situation. It definitely makes daily living a struggle. I'm in my own marital struggle. You're doing the best you can alone with your kids since your husband does nothing but tear others down instead of doing anything constructive. I hope you can find a ray of sunshine somewhere.