Yes. Marriage is so hard. My formerly-awesome hubs succumbed to depression and psychosis after the diagnosis. Parenting on your own is no joke, and I work full time too. Let me just say that work is way easier - getting away every day to accomplish things and feel the certainty of control at work - its actually way way easier than a whole week at home with no breaks. It sounds like your wife wants you to be happy to come home to her and your kid. That is something you can choose to provide, even if its a bit of a front at times. But it may change the trajectory of everything. “Have a beer/juice/tea with me” on the porch after kid’s bedtime can go a long way. “I got you a donut on the way home.” Take 3 minutes to clean the bathroom before she gets ready for bed. Share jokes and stories. See a therapist every couple weeks to talk through the tough stuff, the decisions, fears, and stresses. Seriously, a therapist is worth whatever you may think is the risk/cost because it gives you (or you & her) a moment to get it out of your head, so you can live life between visits. Therapy can give you a whole new way to approach things, in your own authentic way, but new, fresh.

You have the gift of a partner, someone who loves your kid as much as you do, someone who sticks with you both - be grateful EVERY damn day. Because it can slip away with almost no warning, and the result is unimaginable. ❤️

There is a lot of great advice here. This may sound overly simplistic, but I think my wife and I have a successful marriage because we both keep in mind that we're both just trying to do the best we can in a difficult situation. When we make mistakes we have some grace for each other because we're both trying to do the right thing for our son. I also try to look at things from her perspective. I come home from work tired and want to rest, but she has had a busy day taking care of our son, juggling therapy, scheduling appointments, making decisions, etc. and just needs a break. Having said that, it's still hard and takes a commitment from both of you. If you feel counseling is in order, I would encourage you to seek it out. Good luck to you.

Def struggling with my marriage. Tried counseling. Got too expensive and hard to fit in. My husband prob feels similar to you. He comes home to a messy house. You def got some great advice from people. I hope you can recover and that it has only been strained a short time.

I'm not married but I do co-parent with my sons father. And from my experience it's about taking on the burden of making decisions. I don't want to be the one to make all the decisions knowing that he helped me make him. Engaging into what's going on in school, doctor's appointment, social communication and so on. It's stressful on one person. It's best to learn along with her about your son because don't have all the answers. Two minds works better than one. Team up and take care

I agree with @MyAutismTeam users... and basically everybody and the suggestions that they made. One thing I suggest you try (I make my fiance do it before coming inside after work), is just taking 15-20 minutes to yourself to just SIT in your car in your driveway. Listen to music, pray, watch something on YouTube... Just a few minutes to prepare yourself before going inside. It's helped my fiance tremendously... It's overwhelming stepping into that situation after busting your ass all day at work, and then navigating through the hell that is rush hour traffic. I'd also suggest the same for your wife. Give her a break also for some self-care. If you guys don't do that already, I bet that it would help... You're both burnt out, which is understandable.

Help with some chores without her asking, or maybe you could pick up a chore or 2 during the week to help her out - even something simple like unload/load dishwasher, trash, etc. Something that's helpful and shows you care, without being too physically exerting. Would probably mean the world to her.

Try to find a couples counselor... Find somebody that you trust to babysit and try to go out on weekly, bi-weekly or monthly dates... Just whenever you can. I also agree with the comment about making special moments, like enjoying a movie or a beverage or whatever together after the kids go to sleep.

Hope this helps. We all struggle but it's gonna be okay. You're on the same team

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