My twins are in the 3rd grade and have never been in class together. My son has autism and my daughter is NT. My son is in an autism classroom and they have him going to special area with my daughter's class. At first it seemed great because I figured she could look out for him, but sometimes it seems as though she's so focused on making sure he is okay, making sure no one teases him, or trying to calm him if he has any outbursts etc. She also feels the need to have to give us a report on his behavior everyday. I just feel as though its too much pressure on her. The good thing is you could try it out and if for some reason you see as though its not working it can be changed

I would want to keep them together. But at the same time, I would feel I needed to let them be separated. Your little girl may not feel the need to try to socialize as long as she's got her brother to support her. And your little boy may need some time where he doesn't feel responsible for her. If it were an option to leave things as they are on a trial run, and still be able to switch her into his class if things go poorly, I would take it. I know my little girl does great in the "home school class" that she goes to once a month at the local museum, though I'm so clingy that I end up waiting for her outside of the class area the whole time she is there (and a close friend works in the program, and her office is right next door to the class with a paper-thin divider she can clearly hear through). She can't name a single other kid in the class, but she loves the teachers. I'm about to deal with a kind of similar situation where her little sister is about to begin class with her, for the first time she's going, they will be together - but then after that one, the older girl is moving up to the 1st/2nd grade group, and the younger one will be by herself in the Pre-K/K group for the summer day camps. And she is terrified of doing anything by herself, she freaks out if she's left alone in a jump house with her sister and I outside. And absolutely refuses to do anything without her sister, like the McD's closed-tube Playplace or the ball pit at the carnival. She's neurotypical, however, so it's a lot less complicated than what you are dealing with.

My daughter was a second mom to her brother in school. I worried about her always focusing on him and his behaviors. I found the more involved I became at school and less worry i showed her, allowed her to focus on herself.

@A MyAutismTeam Member. Thank you for your reply. You just echoed my main concern about putting them in the same classroom. My son is very protective of his sister and I can see something like that happening with them. I also do not want him to end up resenting her for being too clingy and not letting him play freely with his friends. Thanks for the advice!! I’ll observe and see how things are in kinder. They’re at an age where my son still speaks his mind freely so I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a clear picture of how things are. The principal was very accommodating and said I can switch their classes if I feel otherwise.

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