Should You Confront Someone Who Says Something Hurtful, Regarding ASD? And How?
Yesterday I was at a four year old’s birthday with my neurotypical 4 year old & 1 year old. My 7 year old with ASD was at school and not with us
I was chatting with a mom I had just met, she’s a teacher, grade 1, and we were discussing schools. I mentioned a Steiner school I was interested in, but it’s too far to travel. She said “Oh, you wouldn’t want to send your kids there. It’s all weirdos and kids with autism.”
I was immediately taken aback. I guess she could see shock on my face, and… read more
Sometimes people say awful things because they just don't know any better. If you know better, you should correct them so that they can be educated but also to pay it forward for the next person that she might feel emboldened to say that in front of. The shock and appall of a situation may keep us silent but at least now you're equipped for the next person.
You did the right thing...the grown up thing. Its really hard to change someone's preconceived notion, and chances are her being a teacher she is going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day...I'm a big believer in karma. I probably would have said "excuse me I gotta get back to my weirdo asd kid now," just to see her face lol. I usually can't help myself, like when my aunt told me when my daughter was young that there s something off about that kid and I said there's something off about your five marriages.
It's hard for me to react when I'm shocked so I understand not being able to confront her. My natural reaction when I'm upset and angry is to get really quiet. My forehead turns red when I am livid and my mom always jokes and says "when Lacy's forehead turns red, it's Gods warning light for you to run" I try to not confront anyone when I am truly angry because I never see good coming from it until I've calmed down. She had no right saying that and it shows what a despicable person she is on the inside. I wouldn't feel bad about not saying anything because she's the one that did wrong here, not you. I hope this helps, big hugs for being put in that situation.
I took my 15yo son with ASD (Aspergers) to the ER for a late reaction to a bee-sting near his eye. The nurse who was taking vitals, etc. looked at him after reading his chart, and said to him, "You don't look like you have autism!" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. HE looked straight at her and said, "Wow, I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult!" I was so proud of him. I don't think she got what he was saying. It's a shame.
I'd tell her why I was interested in the school, nicely. I'd also call her school and suggest some sensitivity training asap 🙄
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