Definitely take him to a shelter and see how he does, I would recommend getting an adult dog, they already have set personalities so you know what you're getting, shelters are usually very helpful in helping you find a dog thats a good fit, you can tell them what you're looking for, calm dog that's good with kids etc, and ask them to call you when they think they have a good match

When we first got our puppy my son was having terrible meltdowns... he also did not speak at all. His puppy was never afraid of him. The puppy is so loving and very patient with my son. He is an American Bulldog..I believe. My son is 4 now and the two of them are always next to each other...even when he doesnt want the dog he is there.

You should know that part of that could be due to his obsession with animals and especially dogs. He had serious anxiety problems with dogs. My father's very large dog literally knocked him through the air and part way across the room when he was just a toddler. Naturally he was very afraid of dogs after that, although he was still obsessed with them, which is why we bought him a puppy (smaller than him). It was a golden retriever so very friendly. I don't know if he would have been helped as much if he weren't obsessed with dogs beforehand.

It probably depends on the dog and on your family. Our son was 6 (?) when we got our newest dog. Before we got her our son was showing a lot of signs of ASD, and becoming very withdrawn and quiet. As his older sibling had been diagnosed with Aspergers we thought it might be the same thing. We let him pick the puppy out himself as it was going to be his dog. We were going camping within a few weeks of getting the puppy for thirteen days and what a difference it made! She really got him to talk to people. He went around the whole campground talking to people about his dog. Not about himself, but about his dog which was a huge step. By the time he had his assessment done shortly thereafter he was only assessed with Developmental Delays, Disorder of Written Expression, a Social Learning Disablility and few other little things. The biggest thing for me was that with the dog he was able to communicate with others. Before the dog little to no communication was going on. Will it work for everyone, probably not but it felt like a major victory.

Are you military? If so, I would inquire around base. As sad as it is, a lot of military families will leave their pets behind when they move from the states to out of country and vice-versa. (If you're not, you could probably still inquire with the base families).

I would NOT recommend getting a previously abused animal with a child with special needs or one not old enough to know better than to pull on tails, ears or hit/throw things. As much as people say they'd never let their kid do it, it DOES happen. And you don't want a dog that essentially has PTSD with a young child who may have a meltdown or temper tantrum. Not that I don't believe in adopted animals that need more special attention, it's just that you want your child to be safe AND the animal.

Right on with getting a bigger dog, too! They tend to be better tempered all around, where as smaller dogs will be yappier (not all! but when they bark it may be too much for your son to hear) and they aren't as mild mannered as some larger breeds. They get hurt easier too. Although, Cocker Spaniels break all these rules (I am biased, they are my favorite!) Great Danes, Labradors, Bernese, Collies, Golden Retrievers and Newfies are AMAZING Large breed dogs for children.

I have a huge 115 lb Black Lab/Great Dane mix. BOTH are such gentle breeds and put them together and you have an amazingly smart, gentle GIANT that let's my son be himself without showing an ounce of anger. Not that I allow my son to hit the dog, but he has before during a meltdown. And rather than running off or getting angry, he just tries to get closer. My son still sucks his thumb and will lay on top of the dog (he's big for his age at 6, wearing size 8 clothes) and roll the dog's ears or rub his snout and the dog is just in heaven.

And it really depends on the dog, the breed and your patience and time whether getting a puppy is right or not. When I was childless, younger and had less to do, getting puppies wasn't a big deal. Some of the dogs I've owned growing up were easier to train than others but it is a commitment. Older dogs, (I ain't talking elderly) are already potty-trained (hopefully) and you have a better idea of their temperament as they've matured out of puppyhood. But I so do wish I could have seen my dog as a puppy! :)