If you are really interested, I would hire a private in home behaviorist to work with you and your family. Even though the child isn't with you full time, the opportunity would be for the summer when there is more time. Also, the more frustrated you become and act will impact the child and the behaviors will flourish. You definitely need to speak with a specialist... You are listing common behaviors - with autism comes a lot of stubbornness. I know you mentioned something about not having a waiver for the service, not sure what that means. I pay a private rate for my in home training without any coverage from insurance or third party... With that being said, if you are feeling this way, it is worth the private pay.

The main thing I would tell you is that autistic children tend to have a lot of problems with routine, or change of routine specifically. NT children have issues when broken families are concerned and it is most evident with their behaviors, let alone a more sensitive autistic child. I am not saying some of the behaviors are not just acting out because they very well might be but they might be autism related as well. I will say that even a higher functioning autistic child should not be held to the same standard as an NT child. I am not excusing bad behavior and you can't let them get away with everything but you need to give them a little slack.

I can't answer you on the out of state issue. I would reach out to a local autism regional center, or a state disability agency they may be able to help you.

I have to limit my sons video games use. (1 hour a day) i encourage outside play more. We dont have cable tv so we watch movies or play board games together. He is required to help do extra chores when he gets into trouble (he helps me do stuff around the house and we talk and work together) and has a chore list with days he has to complete chores on. He has a specific bed time and schedule as routine helps with meltdowns.

Sorry for the long delay in response, I have not been logging on as I should. Well, to find a behaviorist I would contact the school and see if they contract with one. If that turns up no leads, I would then google "ABA" and/ or "behavior therapy" in your area and see what populates. You can also contact Autism Speaks or use their search engines. You will then need to call and see who does parent training or hands on ABA. Direct ABA to child is very expensive. You may be able to find parent training at a cheaper rate bc it doesn't have to be overseen directly by a BCBA

Hi,
I live in MD also and we do have the waiver, however it is a long waiting list, like 8 years smh