We had that issue with Emily when she was younger. I suppose how you deal with it depends on how much they understand. Emily is fairly high functioning and of normal IQ so we really just had to figure out why she was doing it. We explained to her that you needed to pay for things or it was stealing and she knew stealing was a bad thing...and her brothers were all too eager to tell her she would go to jail for stealing. We quickly realized it was the paying for things concept she didn't quite get. Putting a monetary value on things and the concept of trade was far too abstract. So we started giving her some money to keep in her pocket and when she would get focused on something in a store we would ask her if she wanted it, explore with her how much it cost and have her bring out her money and we would count it up to see if it was enough. If it wasn't, which it rarely was, the item was within reason and she really wanted it after going through all the motions, we gave her the money and let her go to the register to pay for it. We would then give lots and lots of positive reinforcement as we went out of the store about how proud we were that she paid for it rather than stealing it. When she got a little older I started giving her a couple of dollars a week for household chores as I had done for my typical older children telling her she could now buy the things she wanted for herself if she saved her money. There was no stealing after that...there was also very little buying as she hated to part with her own money. Of course all of this takes time and repetition. Our kids do not get things the first time but they usually can get it if you give it enough time. We also have had some very kind people in the community that recognized our challenges and worked with us to help her out and make it comfortable for us to keep coming back to their stores to shop. Good luck! It's difficult but they grow and change and you will work through this, too.

Pick a food or activity that he loves. If he resists stealing, he gets it, and he gets it at no other time. If you have a friend who manages a store, that would be ideal. Go there and check his pockets after he exits. If he has abstained, he gets a smiley face sticker on a behavior card and immediate and effusive praise. Write a social story about [his name] and how he learned to behave appropriately in stores and resist temptation.

Behaviorists coach always using positive behavior, but having worked with at risk teenagers and adults with disabilities, you need the negative as well, because eventually, a stealing member of society will face society's judgement: if not arrest, then sequestering the individual away from community access, or simply being banned from a store or a mall.

And speaking of that, here's a random thought: I forget this a lot, but a lot of kids with autism hate shopping because of sensory and social issues. There's a lot of people, there's buzzing fluorescent lights, there's crying babies and a lot of obscure and contradictory rules...you might try headphones or music to see if that helps. Your kid may be stealing to try and get out of a stressful situation. This is called avoidance behavior and one kid I've worked with was destructive and aggressive simply to avoid situations he didn't want to face.

One last idea. Make a quick trip and have your child pay for one item in the quick checkout with his earned money. Again, effusive praise for the child's independence and appropriate participation in the community. Solicit praise from the sales clerk as well. "Wasn't that cool? Johnny paid for that soda with money he earned and he did it all by himself!"

Take it completely out of the emotional realm and enforce consequences. When he steals, he faces negative consequences. When he doesn't steal, he gets a reward. My recent training says that foster kids steal out of fear (so maybe ASD kids or other highly stressed kids do, too), but I don't have a good handle on that, so I can't really explain the thinking there.

Morality is an abstract concept for a lot of people, and Autism doesn't help much. Concrete consequences are a lot easier to grasp.

You are full of great information @A MyAutismTeam Member. Thank you so much. Can you be part of myautism team?

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A MyAutis...

We are in the same boat. My BFs 26 year old sister steals from us constantly. We've tried everything we could think of to change the behavior - taking away privledges/toys and earning them back by demonstrating good behavior was working for a minute but then she started stealing back the toys we had taken as punishment and we are back at square one. We already have any sweets that come in the house in a lock box because it doesn't matter where we hide it, she will get into it. If she can't find sweets, she's also a fan of cheese, walnuts, and plain old sugar which she will just take from the kitchen if she finds a moment unsupervised. We are getting to the point where we just don't believe she will ever stop. She also lies and denies when she gets caught because she knows there will be consequences for stealing. She will swipe food from the fridge/cabinets and occasionally even the trash if it's something she thinks looks good. It's been getting worse in the last few months and has come to a head in the last week - she went into our room and took one of the toys we were holding onto because of the last time she got in trouble . Both her brother and I are at our wits end and we can't go on like this. We've ordered some child locks for the fridge/cabinets and are working with our landlord to get a doorknob that has a lock on our master bedroom because we just can't keep doing things this way anymore. I hate that this is what it's come to but it's either that or continue being angry and stressed all the time. I second/third all of the pleas for help/advice