I take what the school develops, review them closely, and modify the goals as I see fit - usually it is refining their goals, adding clarifying language, etc. When I add goals I make sure I can clearly explain how my additions are closely related to his educational needs.

Things I have changed in the IEP include:

- specifically listing his strengths that they are going to use to further his education (then I make them fill in the details -they are the education professionals, not me, and I don't let it go until they do it)

- physical environment changes - where he sits in the class, where his backpack and things are stored, all designed to reduce sensory overload

- during standardized testing, I had them include that they seat him in the front of the room and wears headphones - not to hear the test questions, but to block out noises and distractions during the testing

- he is introduced to his next year teacher and his next year teacher's classroom 3 times before the end of the current school year (that was a sticking point because they did not know who the teachers were going to be until after the end of the school year, but I calmly told them this was non-negotiable and they needed to figure it out. I told the principal that if she wanted to take it to the district complaining about me as the horrible IEP parent who was insisting on this, that was OK, I don't mind being the "bad guy!")

I am an autism parent AND teacher. Having ideas of what you want your child to accomplish is a great idea, but it is ultimately the TEAM that will decide the verbiage...

The goals will depend on the functioning level of the child. For instance, if the child takes the "Extend I" (modified version of the End-of-Grade tests), they must have goals that reflect the subject areas that are being tested (for instance, a 4th grader must have an English/Language, Math, AND Science goal, since those are the areas tested in 4th grade). If the child is in a self-contained setting, there must be a functional goal. This can be tying shoes, dressing himself, remembering emergency contact information...

If there is a "behavior that impedes the learning of himself or others", a behavior goal must be developed, along with some type of functional behavior plan...

As a teacher, I try to meet with the parent ahead of time to discuss ideas - that way there are no surprises at the meeting, and you are not sitting in a meeting for hours trying to develop something from scratch. Hopefully, there is good parent-teacher communication throughout the school year, so you have an idea whether current goals are being met or not.

It is legal for a teacher to come into the meeting with "draft goals" (i.e. goals that you have discussed ahead of time). However, it is NOT legal for the team to just tell you "these are the goals", without your input.

My suggestion is, if the teacher doesn't contact you before the IEP meeting, call him/her to discuss everything ahead of time vs. walking in with a list of ideas. This saves time and gives the parent and teacher cred for being prepared :)

I always have one or two goals in mind for an IEP. Usually one is academic and the other is functional. After a few years the school's goals begin to align with mine. That is the ideal, I suppose.
in the beginning it was quite trying. Getting teachers who only know how to deal with typical children to understand that they need to adjust themselves to a different way, can be a challenge. A good teacher is always open to the challenge. The support staff is usually very open because they work so closely with the child.
I used to have to go in with a list of concerns. Now meetings are much better because we are all on the same page.

I actually ask for a draft of the IEP prior to our meeting (I have only done 2)...that way I can see if we are on the same page, decide where I need/want more services or if I need/want to change anything. My IEP team is very receptive. I have yet to do so but I would share my ideas/concerns prior to the meeting so that everyone would be on a similar page for the meeting. **note - I understand the the IEP is a living document and it can/will change from when they give me the draft and when we finally sign it.

As a parent, I have advocated to add or keep certain goals and to modify others. As a special ed teacher, I rarely see parents push for more than what the school's team brings to the table. I CAN say that if you bring too many goals to the table, you shut down the team. I agree with the suggestions above about bringing discussion points. Also, for those reading this thread without prior experience, remember that anything you bring to the IEP table needs to be focused on your child's ability to navigate the school setting, participate in the school community, and achieve academically. If you start a sentence with "We have this issue at home that the school needs to work on," you've lost it.