I've lost a few friends. It happens when "friends" can't tolerate the disruption caused by your child. Also I've become so busy between work, my family, and managing my son's programs that I don't have enough time to invest time into my friends' lives. So its kinda a two-way thing.

Anyhow, along the way you make new friends that have more in common with you. And you become closer to those that stick by through thick and thin. As my older son says, "I'd rather have a couple of really close friends than hundreds of minor friends." I think he's right.

I have lost friends over my son's autism. But it's not them who dumps us, it's me who dumps them. If I notice that someone is going to judge me or my child based on his condition (something he and I can't help) then there is no need for me to give them the privilege of being around me or my child. I believe that the energy around you effects your children and if it's not positive then it's not necessary.

I don't know your friend but I'm sure the feelings you are having are accurate. And in that case it's important for you to remember you didn't do anything to deserve this. Personally I limit my contact with her and be more distant. If she loves and values you then she will reach out (true friends always do) then you can explain why you kept your distance and set new guidelines for the friendship.

Yes but I realize now its there lost we dont get invited to a ton of functions anymore so im starting to make friends with other parents with children on the spectrum.

Yes. My dad said my children are autistic because God is punishing me for being an evil person. Other family members on my side won't have anything to do with us because they don't want to get involved in our "problems" and others are pissed because we aren't doing what THEY think we should do. My sister-in-law did not want her child playing with my kids because she didn't want him to pick up their autistic behaviors. Family refused to make any dietary concessions at get togethers for our kids, but would make dietary concessions for the "typical" kids. If I brought food for my kids, family would be mad about that, too. Friends would outright say that they were tired of hearing about our problems, that we weren't fun anymore. I joined a mother's group and was asked to only bring my kids who could pass for normal and leave the other one home with a sitter. It goes on and on, unfortunately. I do not have any close friends anymore. I have a very strained relationship with m family. The only "friends" I have are people that barely know me; they are just peripheral friends. It's very lonely, but I keep telling myself that this is all happening for a reason. I love my kids; they are beautiful and terrific! I just focus my attention on them because in the end, they are all that really matters in m life. :)

Great question!! I'm so glad this came up -- I also noticed friends and family members quietly falling-off-the-grid soon after my son's diagnosis, almost as if Asperger's were contagious. I hadn't expected that reaction and it was most hurtful when my best friend pulled away. Over time, I now realize those same people have done for us a great favor - we've had a chance to find more genuine friends but it took a while. Now when I see those 'old' friends, if it's convenient I happily wave hello and then go on my way. After all, the best revenge is a good life (or no revenge at all). And as hard as it is at times, we always seem to find all we need with or without them. Onward and upward.