Our immediate family struggled with this for a very long time. Our son was diagnosed at the age of 2 (on his 2nd birthday no less), and for the past 4 years my own mother has consistently denied that he has the diagnosis he's been given. It has been very tough on me not to have that family support - especially my mom. My husband has been an absolute angel and has been so incredibly supportive, but when we're both down about it there really isn't a good support system from our family to lift us up out of it.

Luckily, my cousin works with special needs children in a school system out of state, and when we have issues with IEP stuff, she is our family advocate. We are beyond blessed to have this resource as so many other families don't have that luxury.

As far as telling others, we went through the gamut of rejections and alternative opinions from many people. What we say is that he sees things in a different way and reacts to the world around him through a different lens. The uniqueness of his view is one that our family values, and even though he can't understand the world in the same way we do, he offers a different perspective. With regard to the sensory processing, we try to say that the way we might know how far our arm is from a wall, or what water feels like is translated differently in his mind - almost as if it's static or confusion. Once we have gotten him to understand that the sensations or the feelings are "ok" and are a part of life, he's been able to ease into situations better.

People have the opinion that all ASD kids are (and I hate this word) "retarded," so I use the opportunity to educate them on their stereotype and how it's not the case. It's just that his brain is wired slightly differently, and the reason why the symbolism of ASD is a puzzle piece is because once you figure out where the puzzle piece belongs, you can start piecing everything back to what it should be - some kids it's easier than others, but the importance is catching it as early as possible as the child's brain is so malleable in those early years.

We are lucky - we had intensive therapies and early intervention, so we have a good chance that he might outgrow this diagnosis (especially given the current research by Dr. Deborah Fein at the University of Connecticut.) When we talk about our son's journey, we keep that light at the end of the tunnel - it's not guaranteed, but just the hope of it is what we cling onto.

I also remind people that 20 years ago, kids like this were labeled differently in society - they were loners, weirdos, geeks, awkward, etc. It's only been through the intensity of the research and educational outreach that organizations and families have done where more is known about this disorder. Now, it's about getting joe-average person to understand that they're good kids - just needing a different way of being taught so those puzzle pieces can make sense to them, and they can piece their lives together again. What comes naturally to us doesn't to them, and once you understand that and have compassion to the child's struggle, then progress can start to be made with people.

I hope this helps.

It is very hard to tell people that do not want to listen. We have had out issues with family and friends, either not wanting to admit or just being flat out in denial about the fact that a family member is not like the rest. As much as many do not want to do this sometimes you just have to limit contact or shut people off because they are not helping with anything, they are just making things worse. You will find that you will not have time to deal with things that are not helping your child. Your child is going to take up a lot of your time, a lot of patience, and a lot of your sanity. If you have other children as well things just get worse from there.

I can tell you that I have two children on the spectrum and I do not waste time trying to explain things to family and friends anymore, because I am way to busy and they do not listen. You will start to see the invitations to parties and other events suddenly slow down and stop from everyone, and that is a true sign that these people are not worth your time and effort. We only have a few family members that actually help and they are still around and in our children’s lives, and the rest we do not bother with. Sometimes people come around but sometimes people are far too busy to care unfortunately.

Thankfully here no one judges and everyone is in the same boat and knows what is really going on. You will find people here willing to tell you the best and easiest ways to do things. I wish you all the best and if you need any questions answered feel free to ask.

I am with all of you on this. My son is high functioning also. Until he starts to hoot or flap his arms. I just dont care what other people think. All I care about is how the situation is working for my son. I try to prepare him for what each situation is . Before we go into a store I explain where we are going and why. If we are going into someones house I explain that. It help him a lot to know what to expect. If people are looking at us I just go about my business. I run a store for a major kids clothing company. Ive seen what people call normal kids make my sons breakdowns look like nothing. So just move along in your life when possible teach people who are willing to listen. Your a great mom.

This is so hard for me to do and so easy to say but just stop caring about what other people think. Just stop what you are doing and take the opportunity to explicitly teach your child. Use that person to role play if you have to tell him you are talking to someone and it's rude to interrupt. He may not understand what rude is until you role play it with him one day, or you do the same thing back to him but at least he's been prepared in some way to understand it's meaning at another point in time. It's not like other kids don't need explicit and repeated training on social skills too. I don't think they really need to know about his "disability" people are not always kind to parents or children with this information.

Who cares what other people think! I dye my hair but don't tell people. My husband has horrific feet but I don't tell people. The fact of the matter is that you never need explain your situation to anyone unless it's a health issue. Everyone has their quirks.
While I understand our children act a bit different but who doesn't? As soon as I understood that there is nothing "wrong" with my precious son, I got over the looks. He is who he is and I love him and as long as that's clear to everyone - that's all that matters.