@MyZettel: thank you for answering this question! I have 2 daughters, one wi Aspergers. They each have same therapist as they were both having tantrums/meltdowns it his past summer. My younger daughter has been able to use her coping skills she was taught and hasn't had a tantrum in months-she is not on the spectrum; I think she learned how to have a tantrum from h sister with Aspergers. My older one can tell the therapist what she is supposed to do in therapy, but in the heat of the moment she can't control herself and has a meltdown of anger, tears, yelling, hitting. Biting, hurting herself. I get really frustrated when she calls these episodes tantrums as they clearly are more than that since she normally has to be restrained for several minutes in order to keep her and others safe. I believe the out of control behavior was learned with my youngest, as I only had to restrain her three times and all three times she calmed down pretty quickly when restrained. Thank you also for the links : )

Could it be environmental stress? Looking back, I can see how little sensory things added up to Very Bad Days. Like, if the socks did not feel right on his feet, and the light was too bright/not bright enough, there was a color on TV that was irritating him, a voice sounded like screeching to him, I cooked with curry... all of these things WE think are no big deal, affect him more profoundly. I found out my son was always irritable because he was always irritated! lol Then some minor thing would set him off because he had all that going on that we didn't understand.

Good answers Thank you. I am fortunate in that the meltdowns dont last very long. I sometimes feel that they are typical tantrums but it so extreme. And they do typically only happen at home or grandparents too.

Awesome help here already... Just wanted to say that my son feeds off of negative emotions. It is often because he is stressed, & can't handle more stress. I also learned that he feels bad when someone feels bad either because he doesn't understand it, or becausehe doesn't like it, or because he doesn't know how to fix it. Whatever you show him, he reflects back at you. Negative emotions more so. Diverting to something new with a positive approach helps change the moment, then take the time to find the trigger(s) once calmed.

My Nora is that way as well, to the point where she hyperventalates. I have found a stress squeeze ball helps, as well as a picture of her with her grandmother or uncle (both of whom she adores). When she was a toddler and this would happen I would start counting, and she would join in. Music also helped, expecially the Beatles. My advice is to just try different things that may get his mind off of the crying fit.