I think your question has more than one part. Why does the child not do tasks that he is capable of? Is it because he's prompt-bound? Is it a behavior issue? Is it a teaching issue? Or??

The second part is the parent's attitude towards their child. And the sad thing is that there's nothing a "stranger" can say to change that attitude. You've seen that here on this social site. What makes parents change their minds is to see their child accomplish more... or to have someone that they respect (or love) talk to them. A stranger is just another person that does not understand from that parent's perspective, so there's nothing you can say to change their attitude.

No one told me this, but I always thought about what happens when my sweet, darling 3 year old turns 13 and he's stronger than little, ol' me? Take all that chaotic, focused, self-centered energy and triple the weight. Not so cute anymore. If he's going to have a chance to make it in the world, he better learn to do his best, be proud of his achievements, use his manners and think of others. Because of his diagnosis, I'll have to work harder at some of it. But I have a lot of help along the way. Besides, it makes me proud to see him excel at things.

@debbiewebbie, good point. These children DO crave structure, and learn best 1-1. Autism should not be an excuse, but a call to duty - and parents are in the best position to give continual 1-1 support.

I've been a SpEd teacher and SpEd parent. Don't judge the parent. You get to go home at the end of the day. She doesn't. You have no idea what it's like at home, and neither do I. But I'd be willing to bet the child has home boundaries just as the student has school boundaries. Luke and Kate (my two biological children with autism) have always compartmentalized school stuff and home stuff. For example, they play Uno, drink chocolate milk, and walk the treadmill at school (not all at the same time!). When my wife and I have tried to get them to do any of these three at home they just look at us like, "What? This isn't school."

I agree with Jill I have taken many ECE classes trying to figure out how to help my son but at the end is on how can a parent help itself and be more helpful to their children. She needs someone that she trust and understands her to talk to her.