We just dealt with the mustache issue!!!! We actually had our barber shave my son for the first time. He went to at least 10 barbers before he found one he liked and trusted. It is a woman and she is gentle and would stop when he needed her to. Recently she mentioned he needed to start shaving and he said he didn't like the idea of it and she kindly offered to use an electric razor to remove the mustache. We went twice and then we purchased an electric razor which I allowed him to choose and things have gone smoothly from there. The electric razor is quick because the hair is still fine and he can control the speed at which he uses it. There is no shaving cream to put on his face so no smell or texture that he can't stand. We started on a school vacation so that there would be no drama that affected school. After about the 3rd time shaving with the electric razor just became part of the routine: Brush teeth, wash face, shave! Being patient was the key. I just let him go at his own pace and have complete control. Of course he did shave off his sideburns and one was higher than the other but we worked it out.

I was lucky could not grow a mustache till about 20yrs but was able to handle it thank goodness.

So, now he is 13&1/2 and the mustache we can live with but when he entered Jr high I asked him if he wanted his 'school time buzz' or long hair and he immediately said, 'long hair'. The deal he knows is that he can have his hair(which he loves the feel of) as long as he allows mom to keep it clean and groomed. I have to remind him often since he has so much sensitivity with anything near his head. Right now it is right in his eyes and I got a pack of about 6 different combs so we can brush it back, he doesn't like it but will allow it from me. Yesterday, the school nurse called and said his eyes are red and irritated and could I just cut his bangs, umm no! This is his freedom of expression and you wouldn't suggest that to a typical kid. He has combs he takes to school and he wears different hats each day(it helped with sensory overload in gradeschool but he never has it on when I get him off the bus...good thing its almost conference time because it is the educators and families duty to accommodate our kids!(duh, IDEA act!) He's got a great teacher so I'm hopeful. He should be aloud to make alot of his own choices from here on out, within reason! It will grow past his eyes soon just like my own hair and it'll be easier to maintain, he is not getting some silly dutchboy haircut, he needs to get used to brushing and combing it that's all!
What do you all think? Freedom of expression or Educational disruption?
The beard I still do not like the idea of. I've looked into the hair removers online and while he has excepted me applying lotion to his face in the am and after bathtime, he doesn't like it but tolerates it but anything that stinks or stings or tingles will be a big no on his part. I understand that, he's sensitive but he has flatout refused and had meltdowns over just offering and showing him his own trimmer.(Guess that wasn't his best Xmas gift!;o)
Love to hear some opinions...thanks!

I know it is hard. We chose to let him go at his own pace and deal with it on his own with us patiently suggesting ways to do it. When kids in school commented it was time for him to start shaving he got more interested in it. Fortunately no one was mean just a conversation around shaving...they are all dealing with it. I am just hoping he gets the hang of it before his beard starts growing in. It took my son about 10 years also to be comfortable with the barber..

@ Cyndy, it took 10 yrs getting him used to the inevitble haircut every couple months, its still difficult but my husband has him help some and pick the color of the attachment. We have been preparing him with discussions, having him practice holding them, and watching his dad. I believe this is going to be a long haul, just being in the proximity of his face his anxiety takes over.