People cry, whether autistic or not, because there is something that either is physically/sensory or emotionally painful. Since he does not have the means at this time to communicate with you about what is hurting him, your presence and acceptance of his need for your comfort will do what it does for anyone... build trust and security.

Meanwhile, you can continue to keep a hawk eye for possible environmental triggers. However, there are so many internal perceptions, thoughts, and moods that kids go through, especially when puberty hits, that it may be that the only thing you can do is be there for him unconditionally... as you appear to be doing.

Find opportunities for comfort routines during positive feelings too, so that he doesn't associate the good attention only with being sad, and use your words even if he can't talk. "I see you are crying, which says to me that you are sad or hurt. I wish I knew what was hurting you so I could help more." Same thing with positive feelings.

You are a wonderful mom!

@ MichelleSarabia EXACTLY! The primary causes of autistic outbursts are overwhelming pain, chaos and confusion, and frustration. They also tend (as does about everything else it seems) to be worsened during pubescent hormonal swings
By keeping the "eagle eye" out for disturbing situations some of the trauma can be lessened and the outbursts decreased either in frequency or intensity or both. "Flooding" or "Stimming" can help in many situations.

Remember, often the autistic is reacting to things not noticed or at least not traumatic to the NT. Depending upon the various sensory hyper or hyposensitivities, he may be unable to explain to you even once communication skills have been acquired.

Love, patience, acceptance and consistency are key.

I forgot to mention earlier that many of us (autistics) have a very different or absent sense of time. Until an issue is resolved, it remains an issue. Many neurotypicals don't understand that we often bring up things that are bothering us (or cry about them suddenly) without any external provocation. Sometimes this comes across as "dwelling in the past" or repetitive thought patterns or even just as hypersensitivity in general. But it can be that because things in our superficial subconscious perpetually bump into things in our conscious thoughts (a process that often creates very complicated or creative links between ideas) we seem to be thinking about things from the past as if they were in our present. Hurts can cause tears to flow suddenly even decades and decades after the wounding if there is no acceptable resolution. Since neurotypicals rarely understand autistic thinking enough to help us understand a painful (especially social) situation, resolution rarely occurs completely.

Make sure that everything is ok at school? make sure no one is hurting him. Check and double check. Watch his reaction to teachers, care taker or Therapist. I worry about this kids. Even older kids. Make sure no one takes advantage of him. Something is wrong for sure.

@A MyAutismTeam Member, that is very insightful. I know my daughter holds onto things for years, and this helps me understand why. She especially hates missing out or being left out, and we fought for her to come home for Christmas and be with family this year in part because of this. We knew it would be much worse for her in the long run, regardless of her behavior, to not be included. She has done great on her visit and I think it has been really good for her.

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